Tropical N

Tropical N. is today the number one pandemic sickness spreading around the globe, but nobody knows about it.

Tropical N. (a.k.a. Tropical Napping) is severely gaining roots in Singapore and I would not be surprised that this virus is also gaining momentum in other part of the planet. My long and deep observations on this important t(r)opic, conducted me to come up with a new theory on how and why tropical islanders are falling for Tropical N.

First of all, I would underline that Tropical N is neither a pastime like it is in South Europe, nor a hobby like it is in South America. It is on this side of the planet, an epidemic that has been turned in last decade or so into an Art of War against ... Sun, Rice and Trees.



I can see it in your eyes, dear reader, from across the wire cable that you are already questioning my fundamental thesis on the relationship that men across the tropics have with each other and Mother Nature. How come on earth, Tropical N is different from anything you've seen before? And what does it have to do with ... Sun, Rice and Trees?



Let me tell you, that Tropical N is different than anything you have been experiencing, reading or contemplating in your life. Today Tropical N is becoming mainstream, a social mandate and a corporate practice. It has been reported (somewhere on Wikipedia, so that must be true) that an ancient Japanese soldier, left on a deserted island in Indonesia, lived to 158 years because he was Tropical N'ing 6 hours a day. He also did not know that the War World II was over, but that's another story.



Tropical N is different because of its nature. Tropical N happens anywhere, anytime, any length, to anybody, in group or alone (remember that you only need 20 seconds to fall asleep). Tropical N has been recently reported to happen in streets, at work, at home, in public and certainly in private, between the dark walls of homes. Tropical N has been now socially tolerated, accepted as a common sickness and scheduled for isolation.



Where does it all come from?

The primary reason for Tropical N is the Sun.
From the early hours of the day, bodies are cooked by the vicious sunlight that by a weird local magic managed to find its way across any modern or ancient landscape. Not even the famous tourist tour groups, who honed for decades the world famous 3T war tactic, can escape the current pandemic outbreak on the island (from Wikipedia: "The 3T, or the Tourist Turtle Tactic, is a tactic that tourists use to progress in hostile foreign territory, by being covered in pastel color from top to toe, wearing giant sunglasses and sun visor protectors, and only moving in one coordinated group move").



Tropical N is also the consequence of the widespread use of Rice on tropical islands.

Rice is a base (I am talking about the cereal not Condoleezza here for those who try to read between the lines). And because of that, rice needs other dishes to go with. And then the issue comes along. What do you serve rice with? Stomach-heavy sauce, greasy curries, and other filling dishes that no human stomach can decently handle. Check out the list of rice dishes for your convincing.

It has been commonly accepted now in the healthcare industry that the root cause of S.A.D. (Sleepiness Attitude Disorder) is rice. A recent report has identified that 38.62% of rice eaters are SAD positive among underaged, non-pregnant women who use a pen as a tooth brush and eat rice three times a day at breakfast, lunch and dinner in a tropical island and living with their grandparents.



The last factor of the Tropical N pandemic is the natural luxuriance that exist in the tropics. Photosynthesis creates the lush and fascinating trees, the ones that can be 30 meters high and 40 meters wide, covering an entire backyard, bringing a fresh and cooling atmosphere under their branches. And like a kid to whom an old lady is singing a song, you are invited to climb into her arm and let your reclining napping monster get out of the box for a moment.



Sun, Rice and Trees are the three main factors causing Tropical N, and can only be fought back by cutting all trees, putting a bubble around tropical islands to protect inhabitant from the sun, and finally start globally subsidizing french fries. Unfortunately Tropical N is not well known on the planet because it touches a too low of a percentage of the global population now. I just hope that by explaining the danger of it, people will finally agree on acting on it and start spreading the message: Tropical N is S.A.D.



"I don't generally feel anything until noon; then it's time for my nap."
-- Bob Hope

Growth Report finally arrived

Launched in April 2006, the Commission on Growth and Development brought together twenty-one leading practitioners from government, business and the policymaking arenas, mostly from the developing world. The Commission was chaired by Nobel Laureate Michael Spence, former Dean of the Stanford Graduate Business School, and Danny Leipziger, Vice-President, World Bank, is the Commission's Vice-Chair.

Over a period of two years the Commission gathered the best understanding there is about the policies and strategies that underlie rapid and sustained economic growth and poverty reduction.
The Commission has finally released its final report, The Growth Report: Strategies for Sustained Growth and Inclusive Development, which looks at how developing countries can achieve fast sustained and equitable growth.

At this occasion, The Straits Times of Singapore covered a double central page in its Saturday edition about the report and had a full interview of the Senior Minister Mr. Goh Chok Tong. One the questions asked was a very interesting one, in which an official paper mixed in the same sentence Singapore and Democracy. Here is the question and answer.

"The Straits Times: As Singapore develops, will the rights and freedoms associates with a liberal democracy become more important? Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong: I think it’s going to be discussed more because, as the people get used to long periods of growth, and their wealth goes up, so will they move up the hierarchy of needs. They will look for things beyond bread and butter, like intellectual discourse, political expression, arts, sports and so on. More people will want our politics to be more liberal. That is fine, provided you’re not worried about your stomach and shelter, security and physical freedom, economic growth and unemployment. I think it is fair to ask and debate, “Can Singapore practice liberal democracy now that we are a middle-income country? Are we now so strong and secure that we can ignore our geography, our neighborhood and our permanent vulnerabilities? What are the long-term implications for us if we move away from our present system or government?” Liberal democracy includes the right to gather, demonstrate and protest against anything under the sun. Do you want demonstrations every day along Orchard Road or Shenton Way? I don’t think so. This is a small place. If there’s a big demonstration in our city, the whole place comes to a halt. It’s different for big countries. If there is a demonstration in the capital city, the rest of the country will keep on producing. We can’t follow that model of liberal democracy. But we can have a marginal kind of freedom to demonstrate, like designating Speakers’ Corner, for example, as a place where you can demonstrate as long as you don’t spill to other areas and hold up other people’s daily activities. Or we can allow people to rent a stadium and demonstrate. "

Street walking in Melbourne

"Omnis comparatio claudicate" (every comparison is to some extent flawed). This statement is more than appropriate when used in a travel context, yet impossible to restrain.



I had a chance to spend a couple of days among Melburnian, changing the rule of casual travel by having a long weekend on weekdays. My duty was to wonder in the street of Melbourne, Australia and to report my founding to head quarter for future investigation. I was a spy agent, undercover in the city, taking pictures, trying to pretend I was one of them while I was not at all. Before accepting my mission, I did my home work by locating the best ice cream shops and other corner stone of the local habits. But nothing prepared me what I saw on the field. Like one of my best inspire and role model used to say “Preparation is not ...” (John Rambo)



So as I said, my mission was to be alike in the city and notice everything and anything that could be used later on by HQ for a more mass scale invasion. Before dawn, on my first day, I decide that the best way of explore the city is to do the same as everybody else, and I decided to sleep in for at least 4 hours more. The red eye flight that I took was not comfortable enough to be able to rest and look fresh. The best way to spot a spy agent is to look at his/her eyes. I would be an easy target if I was walking around, asking question, starring at people with my red eyes. I did not want to take any risk, so I slept in and woke early in the afternoon (around 4PM or so)



During my homework, I discovered that Melbourne is the second most populous city in Australia, with population estimated at 4 million. My mission was going to be a very easy one, then. Being stationed already in a city of 4 millions people, I perfected the Art of Infiltration in foreign sovereignty without being spotted. In his book, “The 2 things a spy agent should know before crossing enemy’s line”, John Rambo mentioned that “Infiltration is the …” It took me a while to understand what John really wanted to say, but I realized later on during my stay in the capital of the Victoria state, what he meant. I guess he wanted to say that if you want to be in, you should not stay out.



Being a field agent for more that 15 years, I have to say that camouflage is probably the most difficult skill to acquire as a spy. Not enough, you’ll be recognized and too much, you’ll be spotted out; but the "four seasons in one day” proverb help me to choose my outfit for my first exploratory mission outside base camp number one (hotel room). I was the only one with a dawn jacket around my hips during the day and sweating like a pig at night. I guess that coming from a tropical island did not help me to easy the transition. I should write to John about this and ask him to update his online suitcase check list.



Anyway, my camera in one hand and my courage in the other, I decided to explore the city founded by free settlers in 1835, 47 years after the first European settlement of Australia, as a pastoral settlement situated around the Yarra River. On the way out, I put on my large Crocodile Dundee hat with the corks balancing around, but realized quickly that I should have done a bit more or research on the local habits.




I was the only one who had the bush outfit, and everyone on the block was tall, skinny and well dressed. I understood right away why the city is often referred to as Australia's sporting and cultural capital and it is home to many of the nation's most significant cultural and sporting events and institutions. At first, the locals are seeing as friendly and even non aggressive toward the tourist specie. At second, they are still seeing as friendly and even non aggressive toward the tourist specie. I am not used anymore to be the smallest in the street, but with was the case. I was immediately surrounded but a feeling of being at home.




Locals knew how to street walk.

I had to look up in the street and not be worried of one who cut throw your walking line, or one who suddenly change direction in front of you without noticing that you were behind, or one who not changing direction when going toward your direction playing the famous bluff game (You change! No YOU Change!), leading inevitably to improvised dance steps unheard at the “So You Think You Can Dance” competition.



In a not so recent article in the New York Time (Metro Matters; Urban Dance: Choreographing The City Streets), Sam Roberts ask himself which city has the best pedestrians. According to William H. Whyte, in his "Social Behavior in Public Places & Lessons for Urban Design: observations", the ones from New York City are the best. For 16 years William H. Whyte has been walking the streets and public spaces and watching how people use them. He started the "Street Life Project" with a number of social researchers and a band of observers.

According to William H. Whyte, New Yorker ''walk fast and they walk adroitly. They give and they take, at once aggressive and accommodating. With the subtlest of motions, they signal their intentions to one another - a shift of the eyes, a degree or so off axis, a slight move of the hand, a wave of a folded newspaper.''



This is what I rediscover, deep inside me was hidden this ability to handle the signals around me, and dance while walking without having to be or aggressive or accommodating, but both at once. My social street walker codes were all put back together and I was able to move around a city without having to fight against the flow of people and other ambush on my way. I was at home for 3 days, walking everywhere, jumping in and out the Free City Tourist Shuttle.



Now when you think that Melbourne is notable for its mix of Victorian and contemporary architecture, its extensive tram network and Victorian parks and gardens, as well as its diverse, multicultural society where food, restaurants and outdoor activities are ones of the finest in Australia…



Even thought I should not compare my current stationary camp with Melbourne, I have to say that street walking should be tough at school as a mandatory topic from the age of six to twelve and if you have consistent bad grades you should only be allowed to move around a city by taxi or in your own personal car. I am all for a street walking permit based on points and merit.

Melbournian passed the test, Singaporean did not.

Melbourne address

[[Restaurants]]

• MoVida
  http://www.movida.com.au/ 1 Hosier Lane, Melbourne
  Telephone: +61 (0)3-9663-3038
  Cuisine: Spanish/Portuguese
  
  This 20 seats restaurant in a small tiny street in a back alley, downtown Melbourne is my favorite place in the city. All dishes come in small portion to share with your partner in crime for the night. Delicacies prepared in a surprising and delightful mixed of tastes and colors which offer to local passenger the best of what Iberian cuisine can offer in the south hemisphere of the planet. Simply a MUST try in Australia.

• The Press Club
  72 Flinders StMelbourne, VIC 3000, Australia
  Telephone: +61 (0)3-9677-9677
  http://www.thepressclub.com.au/
  
  George Calombaris has an avant-garde chef reputation whose culinary creations have both raised eyebrows and prompted contentment. Traditional is not a word that you can used to associating with him. At The Press Club, Calombaris aims to recreate the traditional Greek food and inject it with a bit of modern tastes. Let Georges guide your Greek travel and choose the menu for you depending what your belly can handle

• Brunetti
  http://www.brunetti.com.au/
  194-204 Faraday St
  Carlton, VIC 3053, Australia
  Telephone: +61 (0)3-9347-2801
  
  This almost one block shop offer what the north Italian breakfast and pastries has on the planet. This mom and pap (and sis and bro, and unc and ant, and ...) shop is a must stop for start a good day in town. They also deliver if you are too far away from them or just in time addict.

• Nobu
  http://www.noburestaurants.com/
  Crown Complex - 8 Whiteman Street,
  Southbank, VIC 3006, Australia
  Telephone: +61 (0)3-9696-6566
  
  What to say about this impressive now around the worl Japanese chain restaurant. Chef Nobu Matsuhisa who partnered with actor Robert De Niro, has been seen as a pioneer for Japanese cuisine since 1994, and an early trip to Peru. The resulting dishes, including Tiradito Nobu Style, Yellowtail with Jalapeno, Squid Pasta, and Black Cod with Miso, make Nobu the innovator of new style Japanese food.

[[Arts]]

• Original & Authentic Aboriginal Art
  www.authaboriginalart.com.au/
  90 Bourke St, Melbourne.
  Telephone: +61 (0)3-9663-5133
  
  A very pleasent atmosphere and a wonderful selection of works. The space is large with a large collection from different schools. If you're in Melbourne looking for some Aboriginal Art, definitely take the time to find this gallery, you'll be pleased that you did

• Aboriginal Galleries of Australia
  http://www.agamelbourne.com/
  35 Spring St Melbourne Victoria 3000
  Telephone: +61 (0)3-9654-2516
  
  This is an Aboriginal art gallery runs in a co-operative and presents some very original aboriginal art at a quite expensive price.

[[Reviews]]
Melbourne is fortunate to enjoy absolutely fabulous restaurants as well as The Age Good Food Guide to rate them. The annual Age Good Food Guide rates the top Melbourne dining establishments with 1, 2 and 3 hats (chef hats of course), Restaurant of the Year, New, Country and Chef of the Year. The 2007 Top Melbourne Restaurants list:

• Vue de monde - City - Restaurant of the Year


• Lake House - Daylesford - Best Country Restaurant


• Three One Two - Carlton - Best New


• MoVida - City - Dish of Year


• ezard at adelphi - City - Wine List


• Libertine - North Melbourne - Short Wine List

End of the world

When Aldous Huxley was traveling in Belize back in the 1930s, he said that “If the end of the world had any ends, British Honduras (Belize at the time) would certainly be one of them.”

To me my end has always been Perth in Australia. Probably because in my mind, Australia is already on the tip of the map, and when you look at it Perth is even more difficult to reach from wherever you come from. So when I received an email from my friends asking me if I wanted to spend a long weekend in Perth, I jumped on the occasion to see what the end of the world looks like at least once in my lifetime.



Let me tell you that this end of the world is not that bad. It’s an end full of wineries, long white sand beaches and gorgeous food. Time is slow under a winter sun, close to the earth tempo blending get up, watch, eat, drink and go to bed.

Now I did not went to the end of the world by myself, maybe too scared of not coming back or maybe tempted to show what the end of the planet might be to other, I went to the end with 10 others wallabies wannabe. After a short flight away from Singapore to Perth on a Wednesday night, half of the end-of-the-world team drove to the nearest hostel.



The shock was not only temperature wise but also landscape wise. After a flying jump away from the red-dot, horizontal distance became larger than my usual. Long straight lines forced me to put my deep thinking look on and my brain started again imagining what could be far behind the horizon line.



Perth is not the real end of the world but much more the airport of the end of the world. If you want to experience you have to drive a but more down close to the south pole and loose some time on the road. At the end of the road you might find a lovely village called Margaret River where the local or tourist lost souls gather together and make this place a departure destination for exploring the wonderland around. To my surprise, this end of the world is also a land full of delirium plantum named wineries. Who would have thought that the end is such an heaven land. Wine needs to have a moderate weather with mild winter and moderate summer, almost a perfect weather for a small clothes closest aficionados like I am.



The main difference that I saw when compared to my middle of the world called home land of reference alcoholic liquidity (Bordeaux) was the color of the soil. All the pictures collected over my years of imaginary Australian dreams were true. The soil is bright red, granular and light. The flying dust over the horizon line gives you a constant blurry vision of the land. Almost if the land had decided to not be only the ground but wanted to be free. The end of the world is a mixing land where soil sticks to your shoes, socks and bottom of your pants. The closest experience that I could reckon was when I tried, unsuccessfully, a long time back pushing the ball with a giant racquet on a clay tennis court. My socks even after many washes, stayed the same red bright, red blood color which by the way impressed many of my soccer teammates.



That would be nice if this end of the world would be only winery based, but this place smell sea as well. The blue sky, white sand and green shores stripe along the border of the land proposing a continuum horizontal picture that no camera on the planet can capture in it entire spirit.



This end of the world had once in the past a pier for final departure for whose who were not afraid to fall behind the tip of the map. But since the return of some of them, no one uses it anymore, leaving the pier sinking in the sand to maybe one day disparate totally in the green sea.



If from that side you have no option, you might want to look inland to find the answer.On the other side of the shore, looking into the eyes of the outback, giant Tingle trees (up to 25 meters high) surrender the village of Margaret and its River.

Lake Cave

Around three hundred and fifty caves are hidden within the limestone ridge underneath the area of Margaret River that runs from north to south. Most of the caves are not suitable to be opened to the public. However, the four major caves are located off Caves Road, the country road that runs through the area from Dunsborough to Cape Leeuwin in the south, and are clearly signposted if you wish to stop by. If the decide to drop down one of them, you be surprise by the effect of the global warming on the caves at the end of world.

Barrel Race

No real Australian experience could be taken seriously without a stop at the pub, where you can enjoy local beers with local (giant) company. If suddenly your are place is the shadow it’s probably because a giant Australian has moved between you and the light. Don’t you worries, soon (s)he move to the washroom for a stop over recycling.

Margaret and its River do not offer a great deal of urban entertainments, except if, like us, you go off season for the annual wine festival. You will be taken from wineries to wineries in buses, tasting the best local red, white or pink wine for your own pleasure. You can also try to enjoy western delicacies for lunch in middle of wine grapes, or you can also enjoy the great view from your cottage, a comfortable bed, a large table full of food homemade cooked on the BBQ surrounded by your friends, a MindTrap game around the flaming chimney, a late poker in house tournament or a final pool competition.



Let me tell you "cobbe" that this end of the world is an "awesome" place to spend some time with friends, wine, food, beach under the sunshine.

I am now wondering what the other end of the world looks like.

Perth address

[[Accommodations]]

• Pert
  Billabong Backpackers Resort Hotel Perth - 4/5 Stars
  381 Beaufort St, Perth, Wa 6000, Australia. This giant hostel is located 1km from the CBD and is close to the nightlife of Northbridge and the shopping area of Mt Lawley offering many stylish cafes, pubs and shops.
  
• Margaret River
  Few kilometers away from the Margaret River downtown on the coast you will be able to find major properties to handle massive group of people. The Crows Nest is a substantial architect designed two storey residence perched high on the ridge overlooking Gnarabup Beach and the pristine coastline of Western Australia's south-west.
  
• You can find some alternatives place to stay in Margaret River village at the MR Holiday Homes website or Margaret River's beachside playground which lists some of the best properties in the region for rent.
  
  

[[Wineries]]
Download a map online or go to the tourism office to have a larger one with some advice, but out of the manies local wineries here are some of the must see or drink.

• MossWood - Need to book in advance
• Cullen
• Pierro - Chardonnay
• Gralyn - Cabernet Sauvignon
• Vasse Felix - Great place for lunch
• Cape Mentelle - Zinfandel
• Leuwin Estate - another good place for lunch or dinner
• Green Valley - they do OK, reasonably priced wines
• Rockfield Estate
• Voyager,
• Redgate
• and finally Sandalford

[[Eat Out]]
You should go into Margaret River town and do some shopping in the local supermarkets and load up on BBQ food and then chill out at your beach house in the evenings and drink wine. If you decide to eat out then check out

• Leuwin Estate - for lunch or dinner
• Vasse Felix - for lunch
• Lamonts
• VAT 107 in the town
• The Berry Farm

[[What to do in Perth?]]
Check out the Lonely Planet Video for a quick ride

Professional headhunter wanted (dead or alive)

I had 15 minutes spare time in front of me before I was going to meet this fellow CEO that I had been chasing for over 2 months now, and to be honest with you I was quite proud of being on time after the rocking end of afternoon I had.

1 ½ hour before her departure time, J. called me on my mobile. When someone calls you at a check-in counter it usually not a good sign. I immediately though about a missing in action passport or even worse a broke-in suitcase, but in reality it was worse than that. She was missing her Noise Cancellation Headset and I knew at the sound of her voice that she was considering canceling her trip on the spot if she could not perform her noise cancellation concert during her oversea 30 hours trip.

Being unemployed has a lot of disadvantages, but certainly the best and maybe only advantage is the ability to manage your schedule the way you want without thinking twice. After a quick check on the time, I sized up the opportunity to dress up my old white knight armor, save the girl and score some serious brownies points. I decided to jump in a cab to the airport. I chit-chatted all the way with the cab driver but I was only really focus on the clock in this Friday afternoon prime time, on the unique road for a quiet weekend for thousand of people. I knew that the success of my job was just a question of minute and every second counted. The less I distracted the cab driver, the faster he could drive to Changi. So I did not for once entertain the discussion.

I finally saw her standing at the Terminal 3, Gate 4, with her suitcase and happy smile. I through the headset from the taxi window and watched my girl running to her plane. I knew that her DJ look will help her to half sleep correctly for some part of the night. Mission accomplished!

But my afternoon was not over yet. I had an interview to go to, and I was half certain that I could find where it was. I ask then J. to phone guide me to the exact address. It is quite crazy the thing you can do now with a phone, an internet connection, Google maps and a lost soul in a city. My subway ride to the interview was guided entirely by J. who, with her headset on, could now avoid any disturbance from her surrounding.

I arrived at 5:45 PM at the “Ya Kun Kaya Toast” from Funan DigitaLife Mall, my coffee chat location, thanks to J. and her headset. Ya Kun is a chain of air-conditioned Kopitiams (traditional breakfast and coffee shop found in Malaysia and Singapore). As the name suggests, it sells Kaya toast (butter toast), Singapore style coffee and tea, half boiled eggs and other beverages. I was proud of being 15 minutes, so I decided to take that time to do a quick expedition of this new discovered mall considered by certain as the second best mall for electronics after Sim Lim Square.

Around 5:50 PM, I went back to the coffee place and investigate the menu just to avoid the discomfort of having to eat or drink something you choose under interviewer pressure. In my extremely intensive local market coffee research I came to the conclusion that each time I eat or drink the famous “I’ll-the-same” I ended up having a hard time to focus on my interviewer answers. Few persons realized the tremendous risk that your humble Blogger has to take each time I meet with an unknown human being when I try to coffee-reach-out and handle the crap that they all drink. My stomach is getting better everyday, but I did not want to spoil my evening drinking later on.



The menu was for once in English and was well classified with coffee on one side and bizarre stuff on the other. After a quick investigation of the difference between O-Coffee (concentrate milk and sugar) and C-Coffee (sugar only), I was all setup for my interview. I could remember his first name, his company name, knew a bit his market, and most importantly knew all the competitors (3 in Singapore). I was so ready.

At 6:00 PM sharp I decided to stand up and with my white head above the crowd I was not unmistakable, I was sure to be disrupted by a hand, a smile of an eye contact and start a vibrant and solid conversation. My day was rocking after all. After 15 minutes of intense and constant crowd checking, a small guy with a uniform came to me.
- “Why are you looking like this?” he said.

He did not introduce himself, but his strange uniform color matching the coffee ad campaign behind him did not leave any room for surprises. I quickly guess that the tag name on his shirt was not a new tactic to approach shy girls, but rather was the coffee company policy. The entire staff was looking at me, and was backing up his brave shift manager, so I decided to justify myself with the simplest lame line possible that came to my mind at that time.
- “I am waiting for someone”, I heard myself said loudly.

My justification seem to have pleased him and the ninjas behind him, since they all went back to they usual task of people watching for a living, and occasionally serving them with alphabetic coffee.




I decided that I had to hold another more discrete position, and my special force training came in handy for once. I move out and I decided to seat close to the only pillar that was in the region, forcing myself to stare at the main entrance rather than the coffee chop counter. I realized then that I was previously standing next to the toilet door, and I am strongly suspecting now that my over focus look and strange appearance (taller & handsome) were sending the wrong signals to the Kopitiam police staff department (although called staff manager). On one of my night cab ride home, the very courageous extraverted driver tough me once the open and encouraged delator practices in the city-state, and I am delighted that sergeant Kopitiam decided to address the issue directly rather than calling the police instead.

Around 5:30 PM, I decided to order one of these alphabet coffees and a plate of Kaya Toast. I started to feel abandoned and the 3 phone calls I had made in the past half an hour to my interviewer voice mail did not encourage me too much either. After all if I had to miss a supposedly exiting conversation, I would not miss the best Kaya Toast in the city since 1944.

It was not the first time that someone asked for a late Friday coffee chat and did not show up. Among all the most impressive stories I had during my job hunt, illusionists are in the top 5. I remember for example this guy from Connected Group Limited, an executive search firm, who asked me to come over and he was not there yet supposedly but should be there in a minute or so. His assistant did the interview instead. What was his name already? Marcus something ... Ah yes! His name was Marcus Lai. I remember leaving the place and over hearing that Marcus was playing golf in Bintan the entire day and it was strange that he asked someone to come over for a meeting at that strange time. It seems that time has a different meaning in Singapore than where I am from. Cultural difference I assume.

At least today, I had to try the Kaya toast and C-Coffee. I was trying to drink my too sugary brown coffee, and swallow the buttery toast, when I started to do what I became a master at these days: daydreaming. I was trying to remember the conversation that I just had with the taxi driver, but could not really remember exactly what was the topic or how did it arrive on the lack of professionalism in his corporation.
- “What is the problem with the taxis in Singapore”, I finally asked him

He answer did not stoke me until later, but he said:
- “When you do a low class job, you are not proud of what you do”

That was the beginning of the 101 explanation, and he kept going:
- “I am proud of what I am doing, because when I go home, I can see a family member smile. But in Singapore young drivers like doing long trips and avoid short ones because it looks better among others cab drivers. I don’t do that!”

I did not know that actually young driver where competing on what kind of journey they were having during the day. He later on explained me his daytime routine, what he was doing outside work, and his difficulty in training young drivers who do not want to listen to his teaching. He followed with a basic description of the aging population in cab driving industry, and argued that older generation consider cab driving a hobby and do not care too much of the client or service, they just enjoying the ride.

He finally gave me a tip about bad behavior of cab drivers
- “If you want to teach him a lesson” in reference to the bad cab driver, “call the cab company, but if you want to punish him ask for a receipt and then call the Land Transport Authority (1800-225 5582) to complain. He will have his license removed” he laughed.

I forgot we were in Singapore and such a thing can happen.


I should have asked him if he knew the phone number of the Show-Your-Face-At-A-Meeting-You-Called Authority, but I forget.
I was on ride to save my girl.

Tropical Emergency

Nobody was hurt, and I am fine!

I am in perfect physical and almost mental condition, but I am going to share with you my last experience in Singapore: my Singaporean Emergency Unit experience.

Wednesday morning, I was late for my early morning meeting at 10 AM. I know for some of you this timing is quite a late timing in the afternoon, but for me, unemployed, it’s a bit of a stretch. I have developed recently a routine that helps me going quite well. After J. leaving for work, I am spending a lot of time online reading my favorites online newspapers. Around 11 or so, after my pot of coffee and a quick shower, I usually jump to some emailing, online job surfing and LinkedIn-ing cold calling to entertain myself for the rest of the day …

What was I saying? …
Ah yes, ... I was saying that it was almost 10AM when I realized that it was about time to move faster and change gear. In my attempt to multitask, calling a cab while putting my left sock on (try at home on your bed, and see if you could do it, before laughing), I tripped over my sneaker, and ended up kicking the side of the open wooden door.

Why my sneaker was in the middle of my way out to the cabby, or why did the wooden door kicked my right foot are still mysteries for me, but the bottom line was my right foot was hurting, the cabby was waiting for me downstairs, and the wooden door was still intact.

The first 10 minutes of my meeting was very much entirely distracted by the breakfast fighting given by my interviewer, but the following 30 minutes were concentrated on mentally checking the size of my foot. A quick ending of the discussion, hopeless promises and hand shaking were the only thing that I can remember from the meeting aftermath.

Back home, I crashed on my bed, liberated my pain from my shoe and contemplated my right foot. The wooden door was still intact and my foot had a normal size. The rest of the day was just an endless excuse to continue doing what I am becoming good at: virtual interaction with people online for no purpose, with a foot in the air.

At night, after telling my story to J., I promised her to see a doctor the next day to confirm that my right foot was not broken. I accepted resentfully to first ease her worries (Better safe than "story") and to second, have a new distraction in my boring and uneventful life.

So here I am, calling a cab, next morning (Thursday), to the Alexandra Hospital. The choice of this hospital is quite simple. This is the only hospital that we know of since this is where we did our medical checkup for the one year residency permit.

I arrived at the Emergency room, and beside a Chinese grand-pa, and a young lady with limited mobility, the room was empty. The number 50 was allocated to me (don’t tell me that they already had 50 cases), and I was send back to my seat with a plastic folder including stickers with my name on them, a customer survey, and without the S$60 form the consultation.

In a Tropical Emergency service, you pay before being serviced.

The Alexandra Hospital, tagged itself to follow best practices from other organizations and to deliver effective and efficient quality services. One of these effective and efficient quality services is the almost real time webcam of the A&E (Accident & Emergency) department. As soon as I got in the room, I SMS-ed J. at work to find out if she was able to see me online. She followed me in my Tropical Emergency unit experience.

Beside, asking friends to screen shoot you when at the hospital to make a blog entry I do not see the real purpose of having a webcam, refreshed every 5 minutes, in an Emergency Unit. Because to be frank with you, if you need to go the emergency, you are not going to check online if the queue is 45 minutes long, you are just hoping that they will treat your case as fast as possible and maybe save your life!

Anyway, I was at the Emergency for an X-ray, and I was going to be taking care of, my profile was in the “process” to be treated. As you can see, the person before me was taking his time (30 minutes average time for a Chinese Grand-Pa, I guess), but your humble Blogger was next on the list. In the meantime, I was investigating my surrounding, and discover very interesting signs around me. The one that stuck me the most was probably the larger one stating that your case will be treated according to the queue line up, unless your life depends on it. I felt automatically relieved, and I was happy to discover that even in a strong Process State as Singapore, your life threatening state could bypass you few seats in the line. This is the way to squeeze the process, and take advantage of the matrix.

When I was watching the new Chinese morning soap opera, a triangle love story on a construction site, between the second Architect in command (Ms Kim), the previous leading Architect (Mr. Jong) who want to follow his heart oversea, and the Master (Mr. Master) bleached headed with a very profound philosophy (“He will be back, they always come back”), my number was called.

I went to the booth number 1 to have my profile taken, answer few questions, and having my blood pressure done. When she asked me what was the purpose of my visit today to the Hospital, I told her my door story and asked for an X-Ray. She did not answer my request and pushed back in a conversation ending tone: “later you will see the doctor”.

My only benefit from my interaction from her was the fact that I was diagnosed as a Male, speaking some sort of English, and was upgraded to Indian!
Even now I don’t think that being Indian would have solved or either was the cause of my right foot injury, but you have to accept the truth judgment from a competent medical body. She was maybe right and saw through me, I might be Indian … deep, deep, ... deep inside.

Still shocked by this revealing information, she asked me to seat back to my place and wait to see the doctor as soon as my number 50 would be called on the board.

I was at the crucial point where the cousin of Mr. Jong, the leading architect, was playing violin outside a close wooden door (not mine, mine was open, not closed), when 20 minutes later, my number was called, and assign to booth number 2. Booth number 1 and 2 were in the same room, but divided by a paper wall. I was surprise to see the same lady with a mask that time at the desk. She asked me the same question, and took again my blood pressure. The good news were, I was confirmed to be Indian, Male, English speaking having still 125 (never heard such a number) as blood pressure measure. I told her again the same story and she asked me to see her colleague next desk for a further and more detail diagnosis.

I moved to the next desk, 3 feet away, and told the new masked lady that I kick an open wooden door, and I wanted to make sure that I had nothing broken, and an X-Ray might be the best option for me, although I am no doctor, and I wished not to tell her what to do.

She knocked and started to speak to me in Chinese. I did not understand, my file was saying that I was Indian, and therefore I could not speak mandarin. As soon as she saw my eloquent and colloquial unintelligent face she automatically switched back to English and asked me the same question as the previous lady. Nobody can trick me on these easy questions. I haven’t done any CIA interrogatory training, but I watched CSI a couple of times, and I know that you need to be consistent when been asked 3 times in the row your name, address and the purpose of your visit today, (notice the today, like you want to come back tomorrow to check if they have sales!)

For the third times, she took my blood pressure, and confirmed me that I would see the doctor soon. On my way back to my seat, I was scared that I could spend the entire day balancing from one staff member to another in this pretty big hospital, promised to be sent to see a doctor soon, while having my arm in pain with a 5 minute refreshed blood pressure, displayed online with a new webcam they would implanted soon.

In a Tropical Emergency service, you have to pass human lie detector tests before seeing a doctor.

Thankfully, Ms Kim, the second in command, after a fight with the ex-leading Architect, was now promoted to be in charge of the whole construction site. She was having an after hour refreshment when she opened up to her best friend. She was confused and did not understand “why the leading architect quit so close to be at the pinnacle of his career.” Her best friend told her that one have many pinnacles in life. One can pursue his or her Love pinnacle, or Friend pinnacle instead of his or her Career pinnacles ….



Number 50 was flashing in front of the booth 3: I am going to finally see the Doctor!
I rapidly, as fast as I could, limped to the room, and was asked to be seat by a young professional. He asked me the same questions as the 2 ladies before, but I knew the answer thanks to the rehearsals I had before. He told me that he could do nothing for me, unless he had an X-Ray, and asked me why I had not brought him an X-ray.

This is the time that you feel very safe, because this sounds very familiar to you. You know how to handle this kind of thing. You expect this exact kind of answer from a developed country in Europe or North America, so when you’ve been asked the exact same question in a developing country you feel relieved. You know that they are big enough to stick to a dreadful and inhuman process and not have the time to spend some time with you. You feel at home. They must be very professional to have the exact same questions and reaction as the ones in EU/America

“No, I did not know I needed an X-Ray” was my almost honest answer. Some of you would have jumped on the guy and probably beaten him while insulted him and all his family including uncles and cousins, but as a new Indian I wanted to handle the thing in a more positive way, plus I know by experience that fighting the process in Singapore will go nowhere. He sent me to the X-Ray room 2, booth 1. I shuffled my way to the other side of the hallway, next door actually, and patiently waited that my name would be called soon.

Ms Kim was still on TV and she was enjoying herself at a very lively dinner with her family and friends. Could not read the subtitles from the back of the room, but I am sure that she was doing fine in her new pinnacle in friendship. The whole family was laughing loud all the 15 minutes of my waiting time.

When my name was finally called, I was surprised that my neighbor also decided to stand up and walked to the X-Ray room. I did not know that I had an old Chinese homonym on the island, and I was ready to engage in a lively tree genealogy discussion with him when he was sent back by the masked lady who was guarding the front door of the X-Ray engine. She probably recognized that he was not Indian, and sent him back to his seat although we had the same name.

On my way to the room, I had to step back for a minute or so and let pass an emergency case. The young man was handcuffed both wrists to his gurney, and had a hard time to sign the large pile of paper he had in front of him. I have to say that the 3 policemen around him did not help to reduce the stress he was experiencing in his will writing. This is not the first time that I see handcuffed people around me in public places on display for prevention and order reinforcement.

In a Tropical Emergency service, you get serviced faster if you are handcuffed.

Anyway, 2 pictures of my right foot later, I was sent back to the waiting area where I started my adventure 1 ½ hour ago. The doctor interrupted Ms Kim in her attempt to talk to her mother about friendship and choice in life. He told me that my foot was fine and I had no fracture. He encouraged me to have some pain killer and a large bandage. I politely refused but he asked again. I refused again, and he asked again. Just before my third time telling him that I did not want any pain killers, I changed my mind and accepted his prescription to avoid another time the same question. Was it the Chinese polite way of saying you have to take some pills or I am not doing my job? Dunno…

He went back to his booth 2 in the room 3, and sent his assistant with my unwanted pills paper. I really wanted to see how I was looking on my X-Ray, and see if my right foot profile was better than my left one. I asked the assistant if I could see my X-Ray picture. So, she asked her boss if I could see the X-Ray, but both of them were extremely confused. That was an unusual question from an Indian-Male-English speaking. Why on earth would someone see an X-Ray?

I backed off, scared to be handcuffed myself and to have to sign the same huge pile of paper the young kid had to sign to see his X-Ray. I limped to the pharmacy for my prescription to be delivered (S$ 1.20) and jumped in the next available taxi (S$ 8.30).



The entire journey took me over 3 hours and I did not had a chance to see my X-Ray, the thing I went to the hospital for in the first place. The worse thing is not that the wooden door was still open when I came back, but I really don‘t know if Ms. Kim, the newly appointed architect, kissed Mr. Jong the previous leading Architect. I would appreciate it if someone could tell me the end of the Chinese soap-opera.

I might go back tomorrow to see the end of the TV show anyway.

15th and last day of the CNY

The day before is generally a full day for preparations to celebrate the Lantern Festival which is held on the next night.




Rice dumplings and sweet glutinous rice ball brewed in a soup is eaten on this particular day. Candles are lit outside houses to guide rebellious spirits home. This day is celebrated as the Lantern Festival, and families walk the street carrying lighted lanterns.

The fifteenth day also traditionally marks the end of the Chinese New Year festivities. The 15th day marks the first full moon of the Chinese New Year, and is known as Yuan Xiao Jie meaning "first night of the full moon". Another family reunion dinner is held with lanterns and oranges and marks the last dinner party for the Chinese New Year.


Taboos and Superstitions of Chinese New Year



House Cleaning
The entire house should be cleaned before New Year's Day. On New Year's Eve, all brooms, brushes, dusters, dust pans and other cleaning equipment are put away. Sweeping or dusting should not be done on New Year's Day for fear that good fortune will be swept away. After New Year's Day, the floors may be swept. Beginning at the door, the dust and rubbish are swept to the middle of the parlor, then placed in the corners and not taken or thrown out until the fifth day. At no time should the rubbish in the corners be trampled upon. In sweeping, there is a superstition that if you sweep the dirt out over the threshold, you will sweep one of the family’s spirits away. Also, to sweep the dust and dirt out of your house by the front entrance is to sweep away the good fortune of the family; it must always be swept inwards and then carried out, then no harm will follow. All dirt and rubbish must be taken out the back door.

Bringing In the New Year and Expelling the Old
Shooting off firecrackers on New Year's Eve is the Chinese way of sending out the old year and welcoming in the New Year. On the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, every door in the house, and even windows have to be open to allow the old year to go out and the new year to go in.

New Year Activities Set Precendent
All debts had to be paid by this time. Nothing should be lent on this day, as anyone who does so will be lending all the year. Back when tinder and flint were used, no one would lend them on this day or give a light to others. Death and dying are never mentioned and ghost stories are totally taboo. References to the past year are also avoided as everything should be turned toward the New Year and a new beginning. Everyone should refrain from using foul language and bad or unlucky words. Negative terms and the word "four" (Ssu) which sounds like the word for death, are not to be uttered. If you cry on New Year's Day you will cry all through the year. Therefore, children are tolerated and are not spanked, even though they are mischievous. (I would never had get away with that one for sure)

Personal Appearance and Cleanliness
On New Year's Day you are not suppose to wash your hair because it would mean you would have washed away good luck for the New Year. Red clothing is preferred during this festive occasion. Red is considered a bright, happy color, sure to bring the wearer a sunny and bright future. It is believed that appearance and attitude during New Year's sets the tone for the rest of the year. Children and unmarried friends, as well as close relatives are given Lai See, little red envelopes with crisp and new one dollar bills inserted for good fortune.

More New Year Superstitions
For those most superstitious, before leaving the house to call on others, the Almanac should be consulted to find the best time to leave the home and the direction which is most auspicious to head out. The first person one meets and the first words heard are significant as to what the fortunes would be for the entire year. It is a lucky sign to see or hear songbirds or red-colored birds or swallows. It is considered unlucky to greet anyone in their bedroom so that is why everyone, even the sick, should get dressed and sit in the living room. Do not use knives or scissors on New Year's Day as this may cut off fortune.


While many Chinese people today may not believe in these do's and don'ts, these traditions and customs are still practiced. These traditions and customs are kept because most families realize that it is these very traditions, whether believed or not, that provide continuity with the past and provide the family with an identity, the Chinese identity.

9th day of the CNY

The ninth day of the New Year is a day to offer prayers to the Jade Emperor of Heaven. This day is traditionally the birthday of the Jade Emperor and is especially important to Hokkiens and Teochews. At the stroke of midnight on the eighth day of the Chinese New Year, Hokkiens will offer thanks giving prayers to the Emperor of Heaven. Offerings will include sugarcane as it was the sugarcane that had protected the Hokkiens from certain extermination generations ago. Tea is served as a customary protocol for paying respect to an honored person as well.



The Birthday of the Jade Emperor falls on the ninth day. The Jade Emperor is also known as the Yu Huang Ta Ti, identified as the God of Heaven by the majority of Chinese. He is said to have been born several millennia before our era as the offspring of the king and queen of the kingdom. The people of Chuanchou observed the ninth day of the first moon as the birthday of Heaven whilst the people of Amoy observed the same day as the birthday of Yu Huang.

The 10th to the 12th days are seen as good days also to host friends and relatives for dinner.



By the 1860’s, the Chinese who came to share a bit of the California Gold Rush were eager to share their culture with those who were unfamiliar with it. They chose to showcase their culture by using a favorite American tradition — the Parade. Nothing like it had ever been done in their native China. They invited a variety of other groups from the city to participate, and they marched down what today are Grant Avenue and Kearny Street carrying colorful flags, banners, lanterns, and drums and firecrackers to drive away evil spirits. Today, Chinese New Year parades are annual traditions across North America and other part of the world.



In Singapore, The Chinese New Year Parade is called Chingay, and was held the 16th of February around City Hall MRT station, and has some origin from Penang, Malaysia. During over 4 hours, floats, and costumed actors went over the streets of Singapore and stopped at different places along the tour for a quick and choreograph spectacle. Among the 15+ floats that were announced, I barely viewed the Lions Dance crowd, the Dark Vador, The Miss Singapore and another local band from the local university. The one that I whish I had been closer to be delighted for its colors were the Chinese traditional dancing close second to the Indian stick dance. My camera could not pass the many body layers that separate me from the show, and could only capture occasional colors with sporadic lights.

7th day of the CNY

Considered to be the most prosperous of all the 15 days of the Chinese New Year, the seventh day, traditionally known as Ren Ri (the Birthday of Man, Day of Man or Man Day, the Day of Humanity) or Yan-Yat (Everyman's Birthday) is considered the day when everyone grows one year older. In early times, on Everyman's Birthday, the urban Chinese based their forecast of the country's condition for the year on the day's weather.

Customs in celebrating this day vary from place to place. For example, Chinese followers of Buddhism also avoid meat on this day. The people from the Fukien province are fond of preparing a special soup with seven health-promoting ingredients to counteract ill-health while those in Chekiang eat Peace Dumplings to bring peace to the country.

In Singapore and Malaysia, Yu Sheng or "raw fish" dish is served instead. People get together to toss the colorful salad and make wishes for continued wealth and prosperity. The belief is that the higher the salad is tossed in the air, the more good fortune can be expected. Long noodles are also eaten to symbolize longevity.

Origins
It is believed that Yu Sheng has its origins in southern part of China. Legend has it that a young man and his girlfriend found themselves stranded by bad weather at a temple with nothing to eat but a carp they had caught. Chancing upon a bottle of vinegar, they added this to the stripped carp and found it quite appetizing. Local chefs in Singapore are credited for developing Yu Sheng as we know it today. They named the dish "Lucky Raw Fish" and popularized it as a Chinese New Year delicacy.

Ingredients
Arranged on a large serving plate, the colorful array of ingredients include raw fish, shredded green and white radish, shredded carrots, pickled ginger, crushed nuts and Pomelo. The ingredients are topped with various condiments including deep-fried flour crisps, crushed peanuts, sesame seeds, cinnamon, pepper and other spices.

All at the table would then jointly toss the salad with a generous portion of plum sauce and cooking oil to add sweetness and taste.

Rituals and Meanings
Yu Sheng plays on the homonyms where Yu means "fish" but enunciated appropriately, it also means "abundance"; and Sheng means literally "raw" but enunciated appropriately, it means "life". Thus Yu Sheng implies "abundance of wealth and long life". In Cantonese it is known as Lo Sheng with Lo also meaning "tossing up good fortune". The tossing action is called Lo Hei, which means to "rise" (Hei), again a reference to a thriving business and thus its popularity with businessmen during the Chinese New Year.

All the different parts of the salad are brought to the table in separate plates, and been mixed in front of you, in a certain order and with some greetings.

Here is the recipe for you to do at home

Step 1: People are all at the table and offer Chinese New Year greetings. Words: Gong Xi Fa Cai (Congratulations for your wealth) or Wan Shi Ru Yi (May all your wishes be fulfilled). Step 2: In the salad, add the Fish, symbolizing abundance or excess through the year, is added. Words: Nian Nian You Yu ("Nian Nian You Yu" means "there's some fish every year", but fish in Chinese (Yu) shares the same sound with the word 'extra' or 'leftover'; so the true meaning serving the dish really is: "there is some (fish) leftover from the previous year, every year") and You Yu You Sheng (Don’t know the translation). Step 3: The pomelo is added over the fish, adding both luck and auspicious value. Words: Da Ji Da Li (to be auspicious; a wish for favorable circumstances). Step 4: Pepper is then dashed over the ingredients in the hope of attracting more money and valuables. Words: Zhao Cai Jin Bao (usher the good fortune for the new year). Step 5: Then oil is poured out, circling the ingredients to increase all profits 10,000 times and encouraging money to flow in from all directions Words: Yi Ben Wan Li (for a flourishing business) and Cai Yuan Guang Jin (money keeps rolling in). Step 6: Carrots are added to the fish indicating blessings of good luck. Words: Hong Yun Dang Tou (Good luck upon your head). Step 7: Then the shredded green radish is placed on the fish symbolizing eternal youth. Words: Qing Chun Chang Zhu (Eternal youth, or full of youthful vigor). Step 8: After which the shredded white radish is added - prosperity in business and promotion at work. Words: Feng Sheng Shui Qi (prosperity in business) and Bu Bu Gao Sheng (Makes Steady Progress, a wish for progress in their career). Step 9: The condiments are finally added. First, peanut crumbs are dusted on the dish symbolizing a household filled with gold and silver. As an icon of longevity, peanuts also symbolize eternal youth. Words: Jin Yin Man Wu (to obtain abundant wealth for the household). Step 10: Sesame seeds quickly follow symbolizing a flourishing business. Words: Sheng Yi Xing Long (one more time, for good business). Step 11: Deep-fried flour crisps in the shape of golden pillows is then added with wishes that literally the whole floor would be filled with gold. Words: Pian Di Huang Jin (May gold pile at your feet). Step 12: All toss the salad an auspicious 7 times with loud shouts of Lo Hei and other auspicious New Year wishes. Words: Lo Hei which is Cantonese for "tossing luck". The ingredients mixed by pushing them toward the centre, an encouragement to push on the good luck of all at the table.

Variations
In early Singapore, restaurants in Chinatown would deliver Yu Sheng direct to customers. Their delivery assistants would balance the ingredients on a wooden tray placed on their heads. One serving would be placed on a pedestal dish and it would be covered with a conical tin, with the condiments wrapped like a red envelope or red packet. Young children were not encouraged to consume it as it was thought to trigger epilepsy. The dish was popular with the Cantonese, although the Teochews ate a simpler version where raw fish is dipped in sweet sauce.

Today, in more innovative and more expensive versions, salmon is used or is replaced with lobster and abalone. The vegetables include odd additions like the kiwi fruit, its jade-like green a symbol of prosperity. Various versions are also served at restaurants from Japanese Yu Sheng which have thick slices of sashimi to even Italian Yu Sheng which have Lasagna instead of noodles!

5th day of the CNY

The fifth day of the Chinese New Year is called Po Woo.



On this day people stay home to welcome the God of Wealth. It is also believed to be an auspicious day for reopening of businesses.

In northern China, people eat dumplings “Jiaozi” on the morning of Po Woo. This is also the birthday of the Chinese god of wealth. In Taiwan, businesses traditionally re-open on this day, accompanied by firecrackers.

This day is also known as the Hokkien New year. On this day in the past, the Hokkiens tied sugar cane poles to their front doors. The story goes that when Northern barbarians invaded the Hokkiens, the civilians fled for protection into the sugar cane fields. They hid there for many weeks, surviving on sugar cane juice and when it was finally safe to emerge, they realized they had missed the first day of New Year. As a result they celebrated their New Year late, honoring their lucky escape by tying sugar canes to their front doors.

On the sixth to the tenth day, the Chinese visit their relatives and friends freely. They also visit temples to pray for good fortune and health.

3rd and 4th days of the CNY

The third day of the Chinese New Year is a day of rest otherwise known as the "loyal dog day".



The third and fourth day of the Chinese New Year are usually considered inappropriate days to visit relatives. Known as "Chi Kou", the Chinese believe that it is a day when arguments happen easily. It is suggested that the cause could be the fried food and visiting during the first two days of the New Year celebration. Smart thinking to get rid of the family business!

Families with an immediate kin who passed away in the past 3 years will not go visiting the homes of others, as a sign of respect to the dead. The third day of the New Year is dedicated to visiting the grave of the deceased relative instead. This may have led some people conclude that it is inauspicious to do any house visiting at all on this day.

Neither visits are made nor visitors received as it is also believed that evil spirits roam the earth this day and it would invite bad luck to be outdoors. Thus conservative Chinese businesses do not open until after the fifth day.

Every kitchen has a Kitchen God, usually posted near the stove, as a red paper banner with Kitchen God symbols written on it. In front of Kitchen God there is usually an incense burner and a pair of candle stick holders. People burn the incense and candles everyday to pray for protection, or at least burn the incense and candles on the 1st and 15th of each month.

Kitchen God protects the kitchen from fire, disaster, and all kinds of unwanted trouble. Once a year, on the 24th day of the 12th lunar month, families serve Kitchen God a feast of cooked chicken (which must include head and feet), roast pork, mixed vegetables, rice and more, to thank Kitchen God for the kind protection of the year. Generally a table is set in front of Kitchen God, and the food is left on the table for a few hours, then later on removed

One week before New Year's, Kitchen God is dispatched to make his report to the Heavens. He is ceremoniously burned. His spirit travels upwards within the smoke to the Jade Emperor in Heaven, where it is hoped that he will speak sweet words about the family in his charge.

His lips are smeared with honey or other sweet substance. The layer of sweet sticky maltose candy or even Nian Gao is applied over the lips of his idol. This cunning device aims to “stick” the Kitchen God’s mouth shut to prevent him from bad mouthing the family before the King of Heaven. The sweet candy also served the dual purpose of “sweetening” his tongue should the first method fail.

On the fourth day, the “Kitchen God” is welcomed back into the household. This important divine being has returned from his yearly sojourn to Heaven, where he has reported the misdeeds of the family. He is received back with suitable aplomb and offerings.